Sara's Return Season 9
by loweze
Summary: This is a piece about Sara's return in season 9 so possible spoilers Although everyone features, it is essentially a GSR fanfiction. shall be rated M, but that rating will not come into effect until a few chapters...
1. Chapter 1 Sara arrives in Vegas

Sara's return

This is my story of Sara's return, in keeping with most actual events and reason's for her return and departure in the first place. It's sort of how I would see the few episodes of season 9 in which she does return. But because I'm not entirely sure about Warrick's case, I have cut out the major case bits. And because it's a story I have added some thought bits and memories that are highlighted, and that are also skip-able if you want to read it as if it were an actual episode playing out, or just can't be bothered with those bits.

Sara's return.

Catherine pulled up into the temp car park outside the airport, in one of the lab's black SUVs. She killed the engine and pulled out her cell phone. She checked the time at the top of the screen, which glowed in the dark night, before flicking through her phonebook and dialling Sara's number.

Sara grabbed her bag of the twisting belt, and pulled up the handle. She breathed in heavily as she pulled her bag past the huge glass windows showing the vast expanse of Las Vegas. The fake, bright, neon light blanking out the sparkling stars. One thing she already missed about San Francisco.

She loved the stars. The stars in Vegas made her sad. In San Francisco, at the beginning, they had reminded her of her relationship with Grissom. Sara would sit out at night and watch them, observing them, mostly still, but now and again a shooting star would fly past. She thought about how the same stars were showering above Grissom's head, but then, as her thoughts continued, she got upset.

He couldn't see them. If Grissom were to look up, standing in the middle of Vegas, he wouldn't be able to see the stars Sara had just wished on.

_Sara's mind continued, making comparisons between them and the stars and them and their relationship. Sara could see it, she could see the love she had for him, but although he was so close to her everyday, he couldn't see her love._

_Of course that had changed. She knew that, but after that realisation, her mind would continue. The shooting stars this time. How for the second they were there, the shooting stars where the most beautiful thing in the sky, sparkling and smiling, flying at speeds that if you blinked you'd miss it. As soon as you'd found it, it was gone. Just like her and Grissom. _

_They'd found each other in San Francisco at the start, a trial on impulse, but he was young, she was younger, he wasn't going to switch jobs for her, she wasn't going to stop studying for him, but while it was beautiful, it was gone within minutes. _

_The fling they tried after Sara first arrived in Vegas, a bit of fun, but couldn't continue, as Grissom feared both their jobs at risk, so while it was beautiful, it was also gone within minutes._

_When they had finally started properly. Dated properly. Took it all one-step at a time, the way most people take a relationship. It was all perfect, they were happy together, and when they moved in together it was the best time of her live. Sara would have bet on it being his too. They did have to hide it from their colleagues, so in work, they rarely got anytime to even just look at each other with the love they both felt, and while those moments were beautiful, they were gone within minutes._

_Then, then she had left him._

When that thought showed up, she'd grab up the blanket she used to keep warm, run inside and without getting changed, cry herself to sleep. For a while she cried herself to sleep in the single bed in the spare room. The double bed felt too big to her, too empty.

The electro music that echoed in her pocket and the heavy vibrating against her leg pulled her from memories she was sure she'd forgotten, and she pulled out her cell phone and answered.

'Hey, this is Sara.' She said, momentarily forgetting where she was, and looking around, wondered how she'd managed to get herself the whole way to the front of the airport while she filed through painful memories.

'Hey Sara. It's Cath, I'm in the car park, where are you?'

Hearing Catherine's name and hearing her voice reminded her. 'Just coming to the exit now, I'll see you in a bit.'

Catherine frowned at hearing the sudden realisation in Sara's voice. It told her she had been gone in her head for a while, but she forgot it and answered. 'Great, I've got a lab SUV, but I'll pull up out front for you.'

'Thanks.'

Catherine smiled at the sincerity in her voice and added with complete sincerity herself. 'Welcome back Sara.'

When Catherine saw Sara walk through the automatic doors of the airport and step into the darkness, her appearance made Catherine sigh. Her hair was pulled back, messy, showing the tiredness on her face, she wore dulled jeans and a regular tee, and when the cold night air hit her she untied the baggy sweatshirt from her waist and pulled it on. It was so different from the Sara, Catherine had been used to, had worked with, gone shopping with a few times. Granted Sara had just spent a good few hours on a plane, but Catherine was going to make sure she felt relaxed and comfortable tonight. Well as relaxed as she could be, Catherine thought, with knowledge that Gil Grissom was only a few miles.

When Catherine had called Sara about Warrick, Sara was distraught and insisted on coming straight away, no mention of Grissom, and Catherine insisted if that be the case, she should stay with her and Lindsey, at least until she decided how long she was going to stay and found somewhere. Before she left for the airport Sara had rung Catherine, just to finalise arrangements, and Cath felt compelled to bring Grissom up, just to make sure Sara would be okay.

'Sara, you know Gil's going to be around…'

Sara in haled, 'Yea, well sure he would be wouldn't he. For Warrick, and working and stuff. Yea I know.'

Catherine tried again, 'And you're going to be okay…with him, seeing him?'

Sara fought the tears. Catherine talking about Grissom. The realisation she'd been blocking out. He was going to be there, a few miles away. 'Yea, I'll be fine. Thanks Cath, see you when I get in.'

'I'll call once I get to the airport okay, keep your phone on.'

'Will do, see ya.'

'See ya.'

Catherine popped the trunk, and got out of the SUV.

'Sara!' She made her way towards Sara, who grabbed her bag again and walked towards the SUV; similar to the one she used to drive when working in Las Vegas.

'Hey Catherine. God, it's great to see you.' Sara released the bag to Catherine, who threw it in the trunk, and after closing turned to her a grabbed in her a hug.

'Missed you Sara, really.'

'Missed you too.'

They got into the SUV and drove off without another word.

'Lindsey! Lindsey, we're home hunny.'

Catherine locked the door behind her, and motioned for Sara to follow her down the hall. Sara, who had declined Catherine's offer of doing do, dragged her bag behind her, while she took in Catherine's house. She had only been here a few times, and Catherine had redone the open plan living room since she had been there for breakfast.

'God that was way over a year ago.'

'Hmmm?' Catherine turned her head, but continued down the hall.

'When we had the big group breakfast here.' Sara smiled, especially remembering Greg's face at some of the photo's Lindsey had revealed of her mother.

'Oh god yea, that was a fun time.'

Catherine opened the door to their left, to reveal her spare room. 'Here.' She moved into the room, and pulled open the curtains while Sara sat her bag on the bed.

'I think it was Greg's face at those photo's of you in college, I'll remember for the rest of my life.'

Catherine laughed, she felt like it was before. When sadness and anger hadn't been tearing at her heart. When she could laugh, with Sara. It took them a while to get there, and they had still had ups and downs but generally they were good. 'I don't know,' Catherine smiled weakly, 'I think Gil managing to scramble the sausages and brown the eggs was a good one. He had a good cook rep until that one.' Catherine laughed quietly and then stopped suddenly. Sara stared blankly at the window.

Catherine doubted the ability to cut the tension in the room with a knife. She figured a chainsaw might just about do the job. How could she have dropped her guard like that? With Sara, she had decided strictly no unnecessary Grissom. She coughed slightly and made her way to the door.'Why don't you sort your self out and I'll go find Lindsey, get some tea on. Suppose your hungry after that flight.' Without giving Sara a chance to reply, she had pulled the door over and disappeared down the hall. Sara hadn't planned on replying anyway, her head was away in the memories. The group were sitting in the living room, minus Grissom, who was in the kitchen, which smelt great. Greg had joked, as usual, and the group were in stitches. Then a burning smell came from the kitchen and Grissom's calm voice called out to them, 'Uh, Catherine.' Catherine had made her way into the kitchen, and after an outburst of laughter from the kitchen; the rest of the gang had made their way to see what was up. The pan and oven were both smoking and Grissom, poor Grissom, looked pretty sorry. Sara rubbed his shoulder. 'Ah, it's okay Grissom, we won't let anyone know.' She had whispered in his ear. He had turned to look at her; his face was so close, she almost…

Sara pulled herself out of the thought. She had been doing well in San Francisco. She had been filtering the thoughts, even been able to remember and laugh, without the pain. Maybe Vegas hadn't been a good idea. She had to remember why she was here. She was here for Warrick. For her college and friend. She pulled off her sweatshirt and tidied her hair, before checking the mirror and heading to the kitchen.

Lindsey was sitting at the counter.

'Hey Lindsey, good to see you again. How's school?'

Lindsey smiled. 'School's, well school.' Sara smiled.

'Yes, I was definitely a geek. What we having?' She nodded her head to Catherine at the hob. Catherine turned to talk to her.

'Veggie lasagne. Sorry it's probably very regular for you, but it was all we could think off once we remembered you were vegetarian.'

'You didn't need to cook, we could have stopped off at the diner…' Sara's voice trailed off as she realised. No one could go to the diner right now, knowing that Warrick wasn't going to turn up. Sara amended her statement. 'No that's great, I love lasagne. Thanks for remembering.'

I know this isn't much but there is more coming i promise!


	2. Chapter 2 Sara's back at the lab

'I'm glad you phoned me about this case

'I'm glad you phoned me about this case.' Sara said on their way to the lab, after dinner and after a shower. Sara looked much better now Catherine thought. She had washed her hair, and wore it down, soft and shiny. She had pulled on a pair of black jeans and a blue fitted shirt. She looked ready for work. She looked like Sara.

'It's Warrick;' Catherine sighed, fighting tears. 'I knew you'd probably come down anyway so, and I figured you'd want in on the case if possible. I wasn't sure you were still in CSI, but once that was confirmed, I thought I'd ring; see if you wanted to do it. You were my first thought, I knew it would matter to you. I didn't want his case covered by some stupid newbie.' Catherine fought her anger now. 'He's one of the team; he needs the best. And as much as I used to hate to admit it Sara, you're one of the best.'

'It does matter to me,' Sara breathed, letting her gaze zone. She fought the memories and turned back to Catherine, 'and I'm glad you thought of me, but Cath, you know I don't do outside the lab at the minute.'

'Yea I know, we've got street guys anyway, I need the people in the lab, he's a priority case, but we still have a load of other cases on the go. Wendy and Hodges are pretty held down. Needed someone to cover Warrick's case and Warrick's case only.'

They sat in silence for a while. Catherine lost in thoughts of Warrick, and Sara in thoughts of the day ahead, hopefully with the busy lab she wouldn't have to see or talk to Grissom too soon. She knew she would have to talk to him. It was the least she could do, besides she wanted to as well, it was just going to be hard.

'Even Ecklie's glad it's you Sara.'

Catherine broke into her thoughts. Sara cursed herself for making it about her and Grissom again. This was about Warrick.

'Really? I thought you'd have to fight to get me back on the scene. I did wonder how you did it.'

'He actually didn't have much against it Sara. He knows you're a good CSI, and he knew you'd work this to the best, and he needed the people. All he needed was to know that you were okay, you weren't going to fly handle because it was one of us. Once I told him, you were strictly lab, he had no problem.'

Sara smiled slightly and nodded, 'That's good.'

'You gonna be okay today?'

Gil Grissom turned around from his bookshelf to see Nick Stokes, watching him curiously.

'Yea, it's hard on us all Nick, but we're going to get this guy, no question.' Grissom opened the book and set it on his desk while he flicked through the pages, looking for something. Expecting Nick to leave.

'I don't mean the case Grissom. I mean are you going to be okay today when, when Sara gets here. I know we all agreed to stay away from that, but she's coming here and I had to ask Grissom.'

Grissom, flicked a few more pages, then stopped and looked up at Nick.

'I'll be fine. This is about Warrick, nothing else; lets just focus on getting this guy, all right? Break room 10 minutes.' With that Grissom left the room, left the book, left Nick, left the tension. Left Nick in the room, with the tension and the book. Nick reached over the desk and pulled the book round, it was open at a title page. Butterflies.

(for all those true GSR fans, you will know the symbol of GSR is the butterfly, for so many reasons. Just a little tip to the fans there, that's all.)

Catherine pulled up into the Las Vegas crime lab, and turned the key. She didn't unlock the doors yet.

'You going to be okay today?'

'Yea, I'll be fine. This is about Warrick, nothing else.'

Catherine looked at her quizzically.

'Catherine, honestly, I'll be fine. Look, I know I'll have to talk to him, Gris, about, everything, but right now, I'm here for Warrick.'

'I'm just making sure. This is both you and Grissom, Sara, we need you both, strong and focused.'

'I know Catherine, and I'm fine. Honestly.' Sara replied, full Sidle attitude dripping from her voice.

Catherine smiled, 'Good to have you back, Sidle.'

Sara was fine at that point; ten minutes though later might be a bit more of a problem.

As Catherine and Sara made there way to the lockers, Ronnie passed the in the hall, her arms full of files.

'Sara! Hey, thought you were coming in today. I hug you but…' Ronnie lifted her arms, indicating the files and shrugged. 'Catch up later, see you.'

Sara waved. 'Sure, you got your hands full. Good to see you.'

Ronnie began to walk off but stopped and turned back. 'Welcome back Sara.'

Sara forced a smile, 'Thanks.'

Sara sat down on the bench while Catherine hung up her coat, and slipped on her jacket. She glanced up to where her locker had been and noticed it hanging slightly open. She stood up and pulled back the door slowly. It was empty. She scanned her eyes over it, remembering; her jacket hanging up, pair of trademark black jeans folded, laid on the base, below a spare top, just in-case, picture of the gang from Greg's birthday, picture of her and Hank (the dog), picture of her and Gris…

'Still there.' Catherine said softly, before continuing to pull her jacket on.

'Yea.'

As Sara closed over the door, someone's arms slipped around her waist; she stopped; and pinched her sides. Nick's head appeared beside hers. 'Morning Sidle!' He twisted her around and enveloped her in a hug, to which she responded by wrapping her arms around his shoulders before pushing him off.

'Morning to you too, Stokes.' She sniggered.

'Ahh, Sara Sidle is back!' Nick laughed, before reality settled back in and his face grew serious. Nick forced a smile through the sadness he could feel in his eyes. Sara knew she'd shown the same expression to him many times. She understood.

'Ready to work?'

Sara nodded, and smiled back at him. ' As ever.'

Nick's head pulled up as he spotted Catherine staring into space. ' Hey Cath, break room, 5 mins, Grissom's call.' Sara's body stilled.

Catherine nodded, and Nick let himself leave the room before breathing in. He hoped Sara and Grissom would be okay. Right now really wasn't the time for this, but the team needed Sara, Warrick needed Sara.

Catherine shut her locker.

'Lets go.'

'Okay, lets go over all we've got.' An empty but deep voice said.

The human contents of the break room looked up as Grissom entered; several files in hand. Catherine felt Sara's hand clench the fabric of the sofa beneath them, and heard the sharp intake of her breath. She moved her right hand to Sara's back and pressed lightly in support.

Handing him a file Grissom continued, 'Nick, why don't you fill in Catherine and…' Grissom faltered as his eyes magnetically found Sara's. When he realised she was returning the stare he turned his head, and began again abruptly. 'Um, yea, we need to inform Catherine and Sara, then, we can, start, on... Grissom mentally shook his head and regained his Grissom composure.

'Hey guys, Grissom?' Ronnie's hand hung on the door frame as she leaned into the room, minus her arms full of files. Grissom's head shot up to answer her, 'Yes?' Ronnie noticed Sara and smiled at her before continuing, 'Just letting you know, we've got the car in now so, I'm going to head down, get it signed in and…' she trailed off, knowing Grissom would have an input. 'Well, I'll finish up here, then if,' he glanced around the room, 'Nick, you get down there ASAP and get started on that, with Ronnie.' Ronnie nodded and smiled, nodding to Sara on her way out.

It was good to see Sara again, and although she hadn't talked to her Sara looked better than she had been. Ronnie had never met Sara at her best, and in the time Ronnie had known her Sara was already worn down; and being under her watch Ronnie had in fact watched Sara, watched Sara wear away. It saddened her, she'd heard what Sara had been like, her co-workers had talked about her often, how they could see the same thing Ronnie was. She'd also heard what Sara had been through, but it was domestic abuse case that she'd really seen how much Sara had broken, not just as Sara, but as a human being. Ronnie had heard all about Sara and her passion, and anger, over cases like that and then to see her standing there, watching this man fighting past police to get to his stabbed wife, to try and finish the job, to she her blindly staring at the scene, a loss of emotion in her eyes. It scared Ronnie to see that, on anyone, never mind a CSI, never mind Sara Sidle.

Grissom caught his thoughts and continued. 'Um, Catherine, while you were gone, getting,' he breathed again, trying to get used to saying her name, with her sitting in front of him. They had talked while she was gone, _but it's a whole lot different when all the contact you've had for months has been with hundreds of miles of phone line between you; and it's especially hard when those hundreds of miles of phone line don't carry the messages you want to receive. Or send_, he amended.

'Grissom, you were saying?' Catherine's voice cut through is thoughts. He'd thought he managed to stop the drifting.

'Yea, sorry I was thinking, again. Yes, well while you were away getting, Sara, Nick and Sofia were with a few witness, neighbours in the area, people like that, and some of their stories don't match the finger prints, Wendy processed, that you picked up yesterday, so Brass is bringing them in and you're on interrogation duty. Sofia's started, but I'd like one of us in there too.' Catherine nodded, though slightly disappointed that she wasn't more active, though she knew she had processed every inch she had the day before, and all her evidence had either been or was in the middle of being processed, so interrogation duty, began to seem actually okay to her now.

'Sara, you're processing, strictly Warrick's case, with Wendy. You two have your own stations as far as we could manage, but anything else you need, the entire lab knows what you're on. If you need any help, the rest of the guys, are still finishing other cases, but they all know Warrick is priority so…whatever you need they get. Wendy's got everything ready for you.' Sara nodded, and Grissom nodded back, before inhaling deeply and placed the files on the table.

'Lets work guys.' Grissom said as he left the room. 'I want this bastard found.' Nick turned to the girls and began running through the evidence they had processed from yesturday.

'Um, ' Grissom appeared at the door again. 'Sara, when Nick's finished, can you meet me in my office.' He didn't wait for a reply before quickly leaving again.

'Hey, Gris.'

Grissom looked up to see Sara smiling, her nerves showing through her eyes slightly. He put his pen down and stood up but didn't leave his desk. Sara walked over to the desk, her smile falling slightly. Grissom looked at her. He let his eyes fall all over her. Her dark hair, her melting eyes, her lips, _god her lips, _her shoulders, arms, hands, stomach, _hands on her stomach, her skin_, down her legs, and back up to her eyes.

'Gris…'

'Good flight?' He asked interrupting her. "You didn't call.'

Sara walked forward and past the desk, until she stood in front of him.

'It was okay, I know I didn't call.' She put her hands on his arms, and held him still, and looked at him. His eyes, his lips, _god his lips_, his shoulders, _hands grabbing his shoulders, scrapping down his back, god, _his chest, his waist, _just lower, _down his legs and back up to his eyes.

'God, I've missed you so much…' Her hands moved up his arms, her chest rising and falling increasingly faster as her breath caught with emotion. Her hands moved to his face and she stroked his cheek, _no dust this time_. She studied his eyes. 'I never forgot the colour of your eyes.' She whispered to him with a small smile.

Grissom's hands stroked up Sara's back, his right hand slipping under her shirt. Her breath caught at his touch. She reached back and pulled his hand from her skin and held it to her neck. He held her head between his hands and stared down at her.

'Sara, you have no idea how much I've missed you too. God Sara...' he breathed stroking his thumb over her cheek. Suddenly she pulled him to her and their lips met. Grissom didn't falter this time, _not like the last kiss_, and he pulled her in, kissing her back passionately. His tongue licked her lips and he was instantly granted access and welcomed by Sara's tongue. Sara's hands raked through Grissom's hair,_ so missed this, _as her tongue danced with his, twisting, turning, licking.

'Sara, ' he breathed breaking from their kiss. Sara looked up at him, her eyes glazed, and tears silently, slowly falling. He smiled at her, his own tears threatening behind his eyes, and kissed away a tear on her cheek. 'Sara,' he said again, her name continuing to ring in his head. He missed her name; he missed saying her name. She looked down at his chest, and pulled her hands down him, to his waist, where she wrapped them around and laid her head on his chest.

'Yes?' Sara whispered. 'God Sara.' Grissom wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her tighter, laying his head on hers. 'I couldn't…' 'It's okay Gris, we can do the talking later.' She pulled back from him. She wiped a hand across her eyes and cheeks, before reaching up to wipe his. He stroked his hands back down her back, and held her waist. He breathed in and released, trying to regain his composure. Her hands rested on his arms, just like they'd started. 'We've got lots of work today, tomorrow,' Grissom looked down, remembering. 'But,' she pulled his chin up to look in his eyes again. 'But, once we've got him... Once there is no way out for the shit that did that to Warrick…' Grissom could see the passion and anger in her eyes, hear it in her voice as she said Warrick's name. '…we will talk. Have dinner, maybe,' She smiled, and he returned it remember her long lost plea to him. _Come on, let's just, let's have dinner, see what happens. _'We'll talk,' she smiled rubbing his cheek again, 'I've got so much I want to tell you.'

'Me too Sara, there's so much I…' She pressed a finger to his lips, and he stopped talking, but kissed her finger. She smiled. 'I'm sorry.' Grissom looked down at her, question marks written on his face. 'I'm sorry, for all those times I got at you to share your feelings and now I'm making you wait. But, we have to work. Soon as this is over.' She let go of his arms, and fought the urge to kiss him again. He dragged his hands from her as well, and had to hold his hands firm to stop them from reaching out to her again. Just to make sure she was really there. So, he hated to admit, he could make sure she didn't leave again. He nodded towards her.

'Okay, soon as this is over.'

Sara moved away from him and walked to the door. She put her hand on the doorframe, as she glanced back at him.

'Better go and relieve Wendy.' She smiled, and turned to leave.

'Sara!' Grissom called to her, and she appeared in the doorway again.

'Gris, I have to go. We have to work.'

'I know but, I need to get you filed in again, all that paper stuff, sorry.'

'Oh yea, can it be quick? Cause…'

'Yea, we can do the first bit, and the rest can wait till we have time, Ecklie knows your stuff anyway so…' Sara moved to the chair in front of the desk and sat down as Grissom opened the file on his desk. 'Lets do it.'

The scene flashed through Sara's head, _Maybe we should get married. What do you think? Lets do it_, but she didn't let it show to Grissom, who had the same scene in his head but glancing up at her calm face, knew not to dwell just now. They would talk later. Later.

'Hey Wendy, sorry I left you with all this crap. Forgot about all that paper work stuff. Still used to just coming in and working.'

Wendy looked up from the computer to see Sara starting to go through the rest of the evidence on the table. 'Hey Sara, hey it's no problem. I finished the analysis of the gear the guys brought me yesterday. Hey, before you start can you come have a look at this, I'm pretty sure it's what I think it is, but I'd rather it wasn't…' Sara looked up concerned. 'Sure,' she nodded and headed over to the glaring monitor.

'I pulled it up here, to get a wider view, easier for comparison,' Wendy sighed, 'or match.'

Sara stood behind Wendy while she sent the curser across the screen and brought up the evidence from the scene. 'This is what Nick brought in.' Sara nodded and held her thoughts inside. Wendy pulled up the double screen view and loaded the image of the bullet she'd matched it to. 'This is what I'm getting a match for.'

Sara sighed. 'That's it Wendy. The lands and grooves, ' she mumbled, 'That's our weapon.' Sara moved back from the screen and allowed Wendy room to get up from the chair. 'If you page the others, I'll take a run down to Nick, he's got the car down there, with Ronnie so.'

Sara flicked on the table light, and leaned over spreading the pictures across it. There was so many, she nearly had them all. It took her a while to calm herself when she opened the pictures of Warrick. Of course she had seen worse, of course she had seen more blood, but just looking at the pictures, made her want to be sick, she was convinced thee was too much blood. She fought her tears, but one managed to slip out, as she spread the pictures across the table, trying so hard to maintain control and to do her job. She was grouping the pictures when she heard footsteps stop at the door. She nodded her head, without looking up, 'Yea?'

'What've you got?' Grissom asked, his voice completely business.

Sara looked up at him, fighting the urge to go to him, wrap her arms around him and somehow drain the sadness and anger from him, and if she was honest, let him take it from her as well.

'The pictures, from the scene, the car, the weapon, nearly all the pics we have.' She smiled weakly. 'I wanted to check everything.' Grissom nodded, and they were thrown into silence, both looking at each other. Wanting so badly to run to the other. Sara tore herself from it. 'Wendy has been analysing fingerprints and the saliva on the weapon, you should go see what she's got.' Grissom looked at her confused. 'Saliva?' Sara nodded, 'yea, I know.'

Sara used all her strength and turned from him, back to the table, and continued to search the photos. Her sense were still connected to Grissom though, and she knew he was still standing there, his face blank with a hint of anger and despair, and a different kind of sadness as he watched her work. She felt that one the strongest, she was the reason.

As she pulled from the connection and turned to look at him again, she saw his back rush down the hall. She hoped he'd thought of something, that he wasn't rushing from her. From what she'd made him feel. She knew what she'd done to him, he'd told her. They were the first emotions he'd offered to her without a request.

_'Grissom,' he answered his phone weakly, lying on the couch. There was no point hiding it, everyone who knew him, knew about Sara, knew that she'd left, knew he was just about holding it together. They'd no he was faking if he tried to be happy._

_'Hey.' A voice as weak as his answered._

_Grissom sat up quickly, and swung his legs around, to sit upright._

_'Sara?' He questioned. His eyes threatened a storm. It had been a week since she left. He'd read her damn note so many times, over and over. Followed by the question 'why?' though he knew why. He didn't know why he couldn't have helped her. She had to know he would have gone with her. Had he not shown he loved her, way over work now? He would have left it if it meant helping her. He also asked himself 'why?' why he hadn't seen the love of his life breaking. Why he hadn't helped her, before she felt she had to do it alone. He loved her so much…_

_'Gil?' Sara's voice pulled him from his thoughts. 'Gil, are you there? Please be there…'_

_'I'm here Sara. I'm still here.' Sara could hear the stab at her in his voice. She knew she'd hurt him._

_'Gil, I'm so sorry I…'_

_'I know Sara,' Grissom cut her off. 'You explained it, in the…um…in your letter. I understand. I guess. You could have given me a chance you know.'_

_'Gil, this is not because of you, no way! I love you, I'm not leaving you Gil, unless, that's what you…' she chocked. 'That's um, what you want, but I'll tell you now, I don't know what I'd do…'_

_'Sara! I mean you could have given me a chance to say goodbye to you. Why just a stupid letter? !' Grissom pulled back his anger. 'I'm sorry, I know why you left, I do, but it's so fucking hard Sara. What do you think I felt when I couldn't find you? When I read that note? Losing you to that bitch, nearly killed me, and then you leave, and it's completely your choice, you have no idea how…'_

_'I do Gil, I do, I'm feeling it too okay! I miss you like hell, but I have to do this! Gil, please don't make this harder. I need you to support me.' Grissom's head fell. He could hear the hurt dripping from her voice. He could hear her heartbeat, and even hear the tears that were spilling from her eyes._

_'I'm sorry Sara, I just…' Grissom's own tears broke free, 'yea, I miss you. Of course I support you, it's just hard to remind myself why when it means you're not here, with me. And I wish you'd called earlier. It hurt so much not having any contact with you at all. And Hank won't stop pinning either at your side so, it's not just me.'_

_'You trying to make yourself sound better?'_

_'Sara,'_

_'I know. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, I couldn't face it, you. I knew if you felt anything like I did, I wouldn't be able to deal with you.'_

_'I don't know how I'm even telling you this. I've never been able to get it out the way I mean it, but I mean this Sara, I love you and miss you and I want you back, here.'_

_He could feel her slight smile break through the sadness etched across her face. 'Maybe I'm getting there with you?'_

_'Sara,'_

_'Trying to make this slightly easier.'_

_'Okay, yea maybe you are. I knew there was a reason I let you stay.'_

_Grissom fought the silence, and continued, ' Bad one, sorry, Greg's got his hair cut again.'_

_'Yea? New girlfriend? How is everyone?'_

_Grissom answered her, knowing they would be back to revisit the subject of her leaving later, but they needed to just chat for now, they needed each other, without the heavy stuff right now. And Grissom needed to show her he could be there for her._


	3. Chapter 3 They go home

Grissom made his way back to Sara's station, when shift was over. Nobody in the lab were actually going home, but they'd decided to break again at this point. When he got there, the photo's were packed up and Sara wasn't there. Panic shot through him. He turned and headed to Wendy's lab. Wendy was at he computer and Sara was no where to be seen.

'Wendy, do you know where Sara is?' Wendy looked up at him, and it pained her to see the panic thread through him. She wondered if he would be able to get over it.

'Sorry Grissom, she was leaving the photo's back last time I spoke to her. She might have headed back down to check on Nick.'

'Yea, thanks.' Wendy watched him leave the lab and go hurrying down to the garage. It was completely empty. Part of him relaxed, maybe she was with Nick. He made his way to the break room; Catherine, Greg and Nick all there. No Sara.

'Any of you seen Sara?' Grissom asked as everyone looked up. They all could see his panic and he could see it in their eyes. Greg looked worried, Nick concerned and Catherine was just sad, Grissom could see the sadness from everything written on to every bit of her body.

Nick and Greg shook their heads, but Catherine answered. 'Yea Gil, I was with her in the locker room two minutes ago, figure she's probably still there.'

Grissom muttered a thanks, and hurried to the locker's, to Sara.

When he arrived Sara was sitting on the middle bench, completely still, her head in her hands, tears soaked the edges of her hands. She didn't hear Grissom enter, or breathe a huge sigh of relief as he saw her.

'Sara?' Sara's head shot up at the call of her name, but she didn't make an attempt to dry her eyes. She smiled slightly at him, 'Yea?'

'Oh Sara,' Grissom mumbled and went to kneel in front of her, pulling her into him, wrapping his arms around her. 'God Sara, I couldn't find you.' Sara's arms snaked around him and pulled him tighter to her. 'It's okay Gil, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. 'I'm right here.' They sat together, silent tears flowing from them, to mix on their arms, before hitting the bench. The cup of coffee Catherine had made for Sara sitting in the kitchen, draining of heat, as the couple drained their tears.

Sara couldn't get her mind of Grissom as she tried to work. Nothing was fitting and her mind keep wandering to him. To his face when he saw her in the locker room, the complete relief that he'd found her. His own exclamation, _I couldn't find you_. Is that what she had done to him?

A quiet nock pulled her from her thoughts and work, she remembered. She looked up and wasn't surprised to see Grissom leaning against the door frame, his arms filled with files. Sara smiled sadly at him, and he caught her on it.

'You okay?' Sara shook her head, and sighed, 'No one is Gil.'

'I know, but you look,' he paused for a minute, picking his words, ' You look detatched. You hardly ever look like that when you're working.'

Sara smiled lightly again. 'This case, it's not like other cases. This whole thing. Being here again. Diving straight into working, I want this over so much.' Grissom's head fell, 'You want his over?' He looked up at her, and it took her a while to register his words and remember what she'd said. 'Yea, Gil, I want to find the bastard and get this over.'

'Are you going to go back to San Francisco when it's finished?' Grissom shifted the files in his arms and pulled himself up from the door frame, staring at her intently, trying to read her eyes.

'Gil, we said we'd talk about all this later.' Grissom shook his head, effectively interrupting her.

'Sara, I can't wait, I need to talk to you. If we're going to be able to keep working strongly there are things I have to say to you, and to ask you.' He left his sentence hanging, n a silent question, she would be the one to decide if that would happen or not. Sara's eyes darkened, and she didn't look at him, 'Okay.'

'You ready to go?'

Sara turned from her locker and nodded. Grissom stepped up to her as she pushed the locker door over. He reached out his left hand and stroked her arm. She looked at him, tears behind her eyes. She couldn't help but reach around his waist and pull him into her, sliding her arms up his back to grab his shoulders. Grissom's hands slide around her waist and held her closer to him.

'It's okay hunny, it's okay.'

Sara's arms tightened. 'No it's not, he's gone and even if we get this bastard, it doesn't bring him back. I just…' Grissom kissed the top of her head gently and whispered to her.

'Shh, Sara. I know baby, I know. Come on, we can go home and get you a bath, you can sleep…' Sara nodded against his chest, and reached a hand around to wipe her eyes. She turned her head to look at him, and saw the depth of love and concern in his eyes. She couldn't take it, so she pulled herself up and pressed her lips against his, closing her eyes, just letting the feelings grip her and pull her away from reality. He kissed so good, even when he was surprised by her. He stroked his hands across her sides and held her waist. She broke the kiss and looked down, wiping her eyes again.

'Come on, lets go.' She sniffed, pulling from him and shutting her locker, grabbing her coat from the bench. She smiled at him, bleakly, but she did smile. He smiled back, and reached for her; his hand running down her arm and then falling away from her. _He's checking, _Sara thought_. He's making sure I'm still really here. This is what I've done to him._

Grissom held her shoulder and pulled her in front of him, holding his hand gently at the small of her back as they walked out.


	4. Chapter 4 The House

The journey back to Grissom's townhouse was mostly silent, apart from the faint buzz of music from the car stereo

My story, not my character, unfortunately….:( if I had any say! I should so go buy some shares to Grissom and Sara! Oh I might just do that! Good thing I know where to do that! Ha! All mistakes are mine… though do tell me what's screwed up. Also sorry for the mess up of past chapters, thanks to those of you who told me about that! I hope it's fixed now, tell me if there's still problems…

The journey back to Grissom's townhouse was mostly silent, apart from the faint buzz of music from the car stereo. Grissom had taken to switching it on but keeping it low, while she was gone. The complete silence had become too much for him.

Now and again Sara would breathe that little bit heavier as she stared out the window and Grissom's head would turn and look at her, in case she was about to say something. She wasn't.

The tension in the car refrained Grissom from letting his right hand rest on Sara's thigh, or to even hold her hand, like they had done before she left. He cursed himself for repeatedly thinking of things as 'before she left', but they'd had so much before she left, and he wanted it back. He had never let it go willingly. He cursed himself again, and removed his thoughts by fully focusing on the road, like he should have been doing anyway.

Stopping at the red light, that had just caught them five minutes from the townhouse, Grissom's hand went to the gear stick. He lowered to first gear and rested his hand there as he watched the lights, silently begging it to turn green. His body tingled in reaction to the heat of Sara's hand as it closed over his. He managed to get the surging feelings under control and he looked at her, but she was still looking out the window. She responded by gently squeezing his hand, before stroking his wrist and settling her hand on his again. Grissom watched their hands together until the green light in the corner of his eye and the blaring horn from the car behind them, forced him into second gear and he instinctively pulled his hand free and moved it to the steering wheel, Sara's hand flinging off his in the sudden movement. She laughed quietly at his sudden reaction, and steeled her hand o her leg and her face fell again as she resumed watching Las Vegas pass her by. This place meant so many things to her, both good and bad.

Once Grissom had his driving under control again, he reached his hand over and covered her left hand on her leg. His fingers splayed over her hand and pushed under her fingers to clasp her hand, his thumb stroking her thigh as he did it. Sara's body shuddered under his touch, and the searing heat radiated from where his touch pushed the fabric onto her skin, through her entire body. She felt it tingle in her fingers that were clasped in Grissom's. She inhaled deeply as his hand moved and she felt the heat of the movement at her centre. Grissom responded by squeezing her hand. He could feel it too.

He turned up into the small parking lot at the front of the townhouse. He pulled into the space right in front, and turned off the engine. The couple sat there, letting the heat curse through their bodies. They had done more in Grissom's office earlier, but apart from that it had been so long since they'd touched and any connection right now was awakening all the feelings that had ever been between them. Grissom's hand held Sara's tight and Sara pushed her hand down, forcing Grissom's fingers to press harder into her skin through her trousers.

After a while, Sara breathed deeply and whispered, 'Gil.' Grissom's eyes pulled up from their entwined hands, and looked straight into Sara's darkened eyes. She looked back at him. She had missed him so much. His eyes bore into hers, searching, but not sure what he was looking for. She watched him search. Slowly she shook her head and pulled her hand away. She got out of the car, grabbing her bag and shut the door. Grissom's head fell. What had just happened? What was that? Why did she shake her head?

He pulled out the head and opened his own door. Sara waited 5 steps away and he could feel her watching him. He got out, shut the door and locked the car, and made his way to Sara, and then past her to the door. Sara turned behind him and reached for his right hand. She knotted her fingers in his and continued to walk, pushing him forward. Grissom smiled and was still unsure.

He opened the door and let her inside, hands still connected. When Grissom shrugged his free arm out of his jacket, Sara's right hand clasped his left hand then let go of his right. Grissom looked confused, so Sara reached up and pulled his jacket off his other arm. He looked at her, eyebrows raised and a question on his lips. Sara stopped him. She shrugged. 'Didn't want to let go.'

Sara removed her own coat in a similar way, this time Grissom's question replaced with a smile as he watched her twist their arms back and forth, never breaking contact, and the pair made their way to the kitchen, hands still glued together.

'You want a drink?'

Sara nodded, 'Coffee?' Grissom reached up with his free hand, and opened the cupboard to get out two cups. He flicked the switch on the kettle. Sara's free hand reached for the jar of coffee sitting by the kettle, and manoeuvring her body to grab a spoon form he drawer, spooned coffee into their cups. All of their actions were made harder by the fact that one of their hands was glued to one of the others.

While they waited for the kettle to boil, they leant against the counter and just looked at each other. Sara studied all of Grissom's features, that she had never forgotten, but she wanted to renew her image of him.

Grissom's eyes trailed all over Sara, remembering the pain of not seeing her, and not being able to touch her, and also the feelings when he did touch her. Suddenly he was unable to think of anything other than touching her. Here she was, back with him. As if to reassure himself, he reached up and tucked her hair back, behind her ear. Sara smiled softly at him. Her free hand reached around his neck to play with the short curls at the nape of his neck. They still didn't say a word, each with a hand in each other's and the other in each other's hair, just taking each other in. Suddenly Grissom's hand slid around the back of her neck and he pulled Sara up to him, pressing his lips against hers. Sara's hand pulled out of his and joined her other at his neck pulling, increasing the pressure of their lips. They pulled each other tighter, hands roaming over their bodies, remembering. Grissom's hands stroked down Sara's sides, up her back, down her shoulders, sending light, electric shocks everywhere his fingers pressed through to her skin; and Sara was rapidly feeling the need to remove the barriers. Sara's hands pushed up under his shirt and she bunched it up, lowering her head to kiss his chest.

Oh next chapter everyone! Smut smut smut! Here we go!

Sorry, it's been ages since I've uploaded so I'm putting this up before I've finished the hot and sexy scene but they will be coming shortly, no pun intended!


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